"It's not easy being in a relationship, much less to truly know the other one and accept them as they are, with all their flaws and baggage. Jack confessed to me his fear of being rejected if I truly knew him, if he showed himself totally bare to me. And to truly love each other we needed to know the truth about each other, even if it's not so easy to take. Jack realised after two years that he didn't know me at all, nor did I know him. (...) I confessed the toughest thing for me was to decide to be with someone for good - the idea that this is the man I'm going to spend the rest of my life with. To decide that I will make the effort to work things out and not run off the minute there is a problem is very difficult for me. I told him I could not be for just one man for the rest of my life. It was a lie, but I said it anyway. He asked me if I thought I was a squirrel, collecting men like nuts to put away for cold winters. I thought it was quite funny. Then he said something that hurt my feelings. The tone changed drastically. Then I misunderstood him. I thought he meant he didn't love me any more - and wanted to break up with me. - You wanna break up with me?
It always fascinated me how people go from loving you madly to nothing at all, nothing. It hurts so much. When I feel someone is going to leave me, I have a tendency to break up first before I get to hear the whole thing. Here it is. One more, one less. Another wasted love story. I really love this one. When I think that its over, that I'll never see him again like this... well yes, I'll bump into him, we'll meet our new boyfriend and girlfriend, act as if we had never been together, then we'll slowly think of each other less and less until we forget each other completely. Almost. Always the same for me. Break up, break down. Drunk up, fool around. Meet one guy, then another, fuck around. Forget the one and only. Then after a few months of total emptiness start again to look for true love, desperately look everywhere and after two years of loneliness meet a new love and swear it is the one, until that one is gone as well. There's a moment in life where you can't recover any more from another break-up. And even if this person bugs you sixty percent of the time, well you still can’t live without him. And even if he wakes you up every day by sneezing right in your face, well you love his sneezes more than anyone else's kisses."
from "2 Days in Paris"
posted by Fil @ 20:02
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